balivatn: (pic#587613)
( Jan. 5th, 2011 04:54 pm)
At least, it's not the obvious mental side.

I tried to take advantage of a free pass to a local gym because I like to swim, and the gym has a lap pool and hot tub, which I do tend to like. But this past week has been extra wonky with the depression stuff. I mean, I'm having all the mental issues, but the weird thing is the other stuff that goes along with it. I've been really tired this week - sleeping WAY more than I usually do, especially considering I've been an insomniac for so much of my life. I've been coming home from the shelter or from work and pretty much crawling into bed and not coming out unless Dan can tempt me out with food or reminding me there's something i really need to do.

Doesn't really add up to great workout motivation.

I've also not really been eating well. There's some speculation that more protein might help with mood, but when I'm having a down period, protein stuff doesn't really sound good. I pretty much want sugar cookies or garlic triscuits. Unless, of course, I'm asleep.

The constant sleeping has some definite mental effects, though - I obviously feel guilty about sleeping so much and not doing more around the house to keep it clean. I'm also worried because people I care about are leaving in a few weeks and I haven't really said much to them. But things between us are still pretty uneasy, and so it's hard to write out what I'm feeling to them and not fall into the pitfalls that we've hit so many times already.

That does start the mental stuff.

Therapy is going - my individual therapist is nice enough, but she rarely has suggestions. Maybe it's just the way I'm framing things in our sessions - perhaps some of the stuff going on gets described in a relateable or understandable way to her there. If that's the case, I wish I could duplicate that with the people who actually matter to me.



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