Communication

So I just skimmed through a book by Suzette Haden Elgin called The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense. I was looking for tips and ideas on how to more effectively communicate with those I love - so much hurt and anger has been thrown around, I'm totally at a loss for where to go from here. I emailed Dr. Elgin about the situation, and I hope she can find time to at least give me an idea of how to respond to the most recent volley of email.