Late night thoughts

Unrelated to some of the other stuff that's going on, though.

I'm not really intending this to be a big announcement, because in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal. But for the past few years (maybe five, maybe a little more), I just haven't really been comfortable with the idea of identifying as a woman, or using feminine pronouns. That doesn't mean I really want to identify as man, though. I just don't really like the idea of having to gender identify. If there's no other option, I will identify along feminine lines, I just really prefer not to. It's not a thing I can point to and say "here's the definitive reason" on... it's just... it feels better to not do so.

There's some issues with this, though - I mean, people still look at me and label me as a woman, because I have tits and the like. And I don't really feel comfortable with the idea that if I don't want to gender identify, I have to dress androgynously, although I do that at some points to. And I know that society is not planning on getting rid of gender anytime soon, and I know that gender identity is important for a lot of people. So I'm not entirely sure where to go from here. On LJ, there is some ease - I can tell people I prefer gender neutral pronouns, and places like OKCupid I can say I'm agender (at least in my profile, they still make me pick one). Not sure what to do in regards to family and the like, though.

I don't know - I'm kind of rambling. I just... given my druthers, I wish there were more chances to use "none" or "other" if someone asks if I'm a boy or a girl. I'd like to not have to dress in specific ways in order to be seen as "consistent" with my preferred gender position. I'd really like to be able to wear something that's not concealing, and automatically be classed as "woman," with all the expectations thereunto.

I've also read a lot of wankery about people using gender neutral pronouns - people complain about "zie" and "hir" fairly often. And I get they look strange, because we are so used to seeing "him" or "her" and not really having any non-offensive options (I'm not about to call any person "it"). I'm actually not too keen on "zie" myself. I prefer these myself. It's close to "they," which has its own usage, and its not like singular "they" doesn't have any sort of precedent, but I know people also have issues with that. Of course, there's a difference between using gender neutral language for people whose gender is unknown or for non-specific people and using it for people who do have a stated preference. Anyone who wishes to be identified as "he" or "she," I won't force them into "ey."

I don't know - I'm not entirely sure how to explain it. Just rambling out of my head, I guess.